is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize