She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
