someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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