If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize