Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
