One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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