why didn't you poke me back
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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