Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
