The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
