No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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