dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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