Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
