Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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