Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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