it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
