I faked an abortion last night.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
