I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
