Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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