She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Alive.
So much puke
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
