god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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