The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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