Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
