elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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