i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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