Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
