i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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