your parents love me but you hate me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Come see our sink grown plant.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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