why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
