ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
