I wanna passion pit in your ass
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
