i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
