i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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