it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
