somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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