what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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