Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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