there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
