I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
