Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
