it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
