There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize