I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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