so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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