i just google imaged poop.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
