All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
