Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
