Nicole vs. Life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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