Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize