those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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