I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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