You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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