Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Panties = found
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
