i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Less talking, more tequila
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
