Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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