We're like a lot better than the average bears
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize