my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
