Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
birth control should be required to get into college
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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