Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Randomize