im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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