I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He passed out mid-signature
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
