Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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