did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize