I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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