i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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