We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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