what day is it and did you see me today?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
