We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
