there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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