hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
