super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
