i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
