If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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