I CAN MOONWALK!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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