you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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