Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
