Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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