omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
