We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
