dude i'm inner monologue high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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