I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
