So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
