I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
