He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
