i just wanna soil my oats bro
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
