So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize