the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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