He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize